♥

2008-03-21T14:53:00.002+08:00

heh . now i finally know th truth . how could i have been so blind ? cheated of my love , time and feelings for so long . thanks alot man . you ought to win th golden horse& oscars .

now that th truth has come out , please stop acting blur . i have hard concrete evidence against you . and stop acting ~~innocent~~ . I HATE YOU ! this relationship , i won't give you a chance to start again no matter wht you say or do . &thanks so much for killing me . if i really died , and now that i know th truth , i'd come after you and haunt you till you die too . and if i had a knife with me now ,i'd stab you .

HONGSTER NEVER DIES . you should pin this on your head . fucker .

give you all my passwords and even deleted th guys in friendster , what th fuck i get back in th end ? all this shit ah ? i deserve it ? i swear , if it was other girls , they'd already had slapped you and left . everytime i had to 自我安慰 , you think very easy ? cause i'm easily contented kay . not cause i good to bully hor . you're clever , i'm not stupid kay !

-

now that i've found my long lost true love , i won't let it go . i won't let anything you say make me lose this wonderful chance . i'm too good to you ler . everytime cause of you , i let my chances slip by .

MY LIFE NOW IS BETTER , MORE CAREFREE & WITHOUT YOU , I'M NO MORE A SMOKER , ADDICT.

2008-03-08T16:48:00.002+08:00

currently not postinq in my other bloq cause i need some privacy . don't like ppl probinq into my life .

ytd very depressed . that fucker dunno that i'm dulan with him . i never reply his msq he very happy bah ? then i very depressed so smoke alot and poon some qum and overdose couqh syrup with coke . but so little when left they all i ownself seh . bo kek , kns . i really want to die okay . but yet i think why am i so stupid to hurt myself aqain & aqain cause of you .stupid riqht ?

i dun think i'm so jialat if i break with you i cnt find another BETTER stead lor . you ask me dun break with you but yet you dunwan to do anythinq to stop me from leavinq you .

today went to sinqapore polo club at mount pleasent there see horse and makan . th horses very nice . i wish can ride but must take lessons first . so touch them and took photos with them . very cute and pretty . all very biq , biqqer than those i rode before . then went to th club restruant to eat . we all eat steak and one plate $38 . but th food kns der lah . th steak very small . erjie's steak nicer but never finish very paiseh .

then i suddenly rmb when i was younq , daddy used to take us one whole family qo raffles club . then we over there der often customers . qo there swim and eat . then th toilets over there very nice . but since then , after he's qone , i haven't been to a club for a very lonq time .

f sia ! someone called me then say he's MIA . fuck up lah . wan break no need liddat der lor . ccb . loser _l_ this stead dunhave also SUA ! 8 months BYEBYE !

2008-02-26T21:00:00.002+08:00

hehheh . fiona's not tempted to touch ciqq anymore . [: [: [:

actually wanna qet a tinkerbell anqkonq on my body . but i dunno wanna put where and baby said if i wanna put means wanna tio him . =X

siansiansian . think my maths is buanq liao lor . 9 farkinq questions never complete . *banq wall* confirm jia lat . but hopefully th rest will pass bahs . i qot confidence !

everytime see * will auto feel like whackinq * lor . quailan . fuck face . think you very biq ah . stupid * . think i for you to bully one ah . one day you stretch my limits too far see whether i'll take paranq to chase after you anot . __ bin . puipuipui .

♥我爱你爱你爱你爱你爱你爱你 !!!!!!!

2008-02-18T18:19:00.002+08:00

PAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAIN!!!!

i think this is th end of us ? she tell me you qo out never tell me then i anyhow think . actually i very scared to lose you . i cry silently at home i hate people see me cry . i try to control my tears everytime but today , i can't hold it in anymore .

it's not like we're a seven days relationship , it's a seven months plus thing . going to eiqht months .

think maybe you can qo find HER who won't mind you qo help your friends tio dai ji instead of find stead cause SHE loves you so lonq . i love you , hope you can find your happiness with HER cause i cnt qive you happiness .

i see people one year two/three years can tahan . i thouqht we also can . i think love is trust . we no trust , no point . i tryinq to make myself let qo . since i can't qive you happiness , th only way of showinq my love to you is lettinq you qo with HER .

one day when i see you with HER i miqht cry , but i'll still qive you my blessinqs and won't hate HER anymore .

i love you too much baby . qoodbye love , qoodbye happy fiona , qoodbye everyone .

2008-02-13T21:12:00.002+08:00

ue always make me very disappointed in ue . ue miqht not have know . but ie think my heart somehow died abit liao . ue keep on thinkinq that ue not qood enouqh but yet ue never do anythinq about it . please lah , think qirl riqht about ue lor . think only ie can tahan ue so lonq . ie keep on tryinq my best to qive ue th best nd be nice yet ue like dunt know liddat . my heart is qoinq to die liao ue know ?

2008-02-11T21:42:00.000+08:00

fuck . qot extra marbolo menthol . tired of smokinq . wanna quit . sorry baby , ie failed ue as promised not to smoke . duibuqi . yuanlianq wo . ]:
last time can't cause infulence kumpua stronq and if stop keep on flu nd cold .

hence ie want to quit ! dunwan baby to throw me away cause of ciq !

quit smokinq
stop piercinq
anti-vulqarities

jiayou fiona ! ue can do it !

2008-02-05T21:23:00.000+08:00

until you're gone , then i realised how much i should've cherished you . you may not be perfect in my eyes , but you're th best alrd . you really made me come to my senses and i sense that security when i'm in your arms .

it's our seventh month 2 days ago . i can't believe it . like we met like out of a sudden and we're suddenly back after so many troubles . and you said that then you were only playing then suddenly got serious . and you kissed my at my doorstep on our first day . wth .

changed blogskin to make my posts look neater . this blog seems dead but i'll come here and rant sometimes lah . don't worry , it won't extinct . some pictures to keep you going .

sentosa trip ;

panphila jie's birday ; with ang moh

ytd go town ;

-

daddy said that just now can't find me and he sent like troops of army down to find me . wth lah . turn whole of batok upside down still won't find me de lor . he say mai very dulan cnt find me . this time i think is real ? cause he always very dulan one . and i haven't seen him for a long time . maybe he's changed ? i don't know , really don't know . but i know for sure when mai cnt find anything or get anything , he'll turn dulan .

to a girl :
nb ccb . hands off my stead . knn . last time people say dunwan you means dunwan cnt understand sibo ? cnt blame you also , you so stupid , say also dunno . only speak dog language nia . you clever ownself go find another one lah , dun so xia suay snatch from me lah . for th last time i say , get your stinking arms away from my stead .

2008-01-31T21:48:00.000+08:00

i thought i saw you on bus today . i know i shouldn't , but you know how much i miss you ? i know you won't come back to me anymore . i'm only in a stupid dream . wake up , fiona , wake up !

what is meant to be yours will be yours , what's not will never be . i think you're th only idiot who can make me so crazy . nobody dare lor . i think you won't even know that i am going crazy lor .

i see th look in your eyes everytime i pass by you . i can't do anything but look . you can't do anyting but look back too . we always remain silent . we haven't talked for many years already .

one day when i've gathered courage , i shall walk up to you and tell you how much i miss you .

what can i do to stop myself from sinking into further depression ????

2008-01-20T02:49:00.000+08:00

back for updates & finally , replies to tags .

Huiyun: congrats , clap clap
Yunting: you also using th same blogskin as me now what ,
Joey: now you know lor .
littlems: no , never change bf ah .
joanne: sorry lor .
passer-by: ok , nvm .
april: sorry lah , lazy to link .
Iamthegirl: now updating lor . for updates , go to my other blog . viceroy menthol is cigg . & my eng all th way is not bad de . is only i never type properly .
inoeu: is vintage , not aunty . now i reply lor . you are ?

i lost alot of links . BAHHH ~
to read my Top 20 Things Which Pisses Me Off >click here<

hi baby

2008-01-18T11:04:00.001+08:00

okay okay , i know this blog is very dead . but i got another blog what . so what's th point of updating here ?

anw , it's 2 weeks to our seven months !!! time really flies by damn quickily .

i was so glad that i could be excused out of camp earlier cause of my fall . & i also got a 4 days MC lor . from 2 different doctors . so in total , i have 6 days of MC . but , my butt still hurts now laa .

if my another blog didn't exist , then this blog would have 400 plus plus posts alrd lor . okay laa , maybe not that much . 300 plus plus on my way to 400 ?

just went through my archives for this blog and found out that i posted terribly in my first two posts because of twitting & th rest were , rather colourful .

actually hor , this blogskin is quite nice laas . but you know , i can't stand having th same blogskin for more than a month or two . & fyi , i'm a very high maintainence girl . so too bad for you , edwin .

anw , i'm now at th part ( in archives) about BK . actually he's nice laas . but i only little bit regret never treat him properly . he also never treat me properly okay . got stead machamp never liddat de lor . & oh my tian , last time i blog just write down people's name . never put he/she/her/him . aiyah , last time new comer mah , don't know anything .

then last time , i always had th tendacy to skip school , in my language , pon school . now cnt alrd laas ! my school staff keep on looking at me .

i seriously have no idea why was i so stupid to have liked someone called **** . fuck waste of my shit time . make until now i don't dare to make full 100% commitments to baby . & how stupid was i to had commited myself to one guy instead when i can a few .

-

i miss marina ]:
i want to go back there ...

so now you have to firstly quit complaining about no-updates cause you have to read my archives first then this long long post . and maybe get me a pack of viceroy menthol . thanks .

2008-01-01T21:09:00.000+08:00

replying my baby :
ily too .it shan't be a one/two day thing , it shall be E-N-T-E-R-N-T-Y . because of you , my world exists . happy sixth month in 3 hours time !

ytd went to 'countdown' with baby . he changed my note to 'i love my baby very much' . sorry for my lousy attitude ytd . i didn't mean it .

2007-12-28T12:17:00.000+08:00

ytd didn't got to make it in time to fetch * from work so meet him at je instead . then wait so long so his friends were also there . then i sian diao . so play my game & listen songs till he arrive . very boliao , walk popular ? then finally can eat . th eating part & aft that were fine but before that i was like dulan & bored .

then go * house , wanted to slp but cnt slp . cause too hot & contacts too dry also . then ahgirl came , so go out watch tv . then mummy called to kpkb so went home with ahgirl lor . but before gng back played 'wrestling' with * & now my hand got blue-black . * is very hiong .

& now i miss you damn loads .

2007-12-25T20:36:00.000+08:00

Hot Dog Bush

Click here to play this game

2007-12-19T13:52:00.000+08:00

2007-12-18T23:56:00.000+08:00

my bro told me that he saw joel with his new gf ytd on th bus . then my mum tell me also . then i was like 'tmd' . i tell her if i see him i will take chair throw him . guys like him all bastards lai de okay . DUN GET CHEATED ! mummy still thought i loved him alot . please lor . duno why last time so kamgong . TMD FUCK ! waste my time on him .

wasted most of my time this year getting into damn loads of trouble . hopefully 2008 will turn out better for me . i will try to be good , i promise ! no more detention , police cases , cut down on smoking , screening , suspension , etc laa . for mummy's sake & my future i will love myself .

JIA YOU FIONAA FOR 2008 !!

2007-12-18T19:40:00.000+08:00

early in th morning got people morning call me alrd lor. although got bad headache & leg swollen like pig leg, still managed to crawl to baby's house.

left his house for fuhua with dulan-ness lor. duno why so fucked up laa. then aft collecting books, makan at 496 then went home to put th books before gng to je to get cl's phone & books.

th rest of th day is damn boring i tell you.

now that ass still never call me lor. he's out with his pri school friends. hope he has fun. & no matter what, how stupid or insensitive you are, you'll always be my baby. on our way to sixth month in 2 weeks time !

<3

2007-12-18T00:51:00.000+08:00

it's baby with my hair extension !

he's mine & _l_ to snatchers.

LOVE,

your dearest girl.

once upon a broken heart

2007-11-16T14:11:00.000+08:00

really, i find myself doing things just to make you happy. i kpkb you is because i'm worried of you. i dont mean anything. but i least expected you to talk about break up. you said you 'shuo bu chu kou'. i hope it's what you meant. i don't want you to live in any regrets. i tiongxim you, i promised. but to you, what's a girlfriend for? for you to beat & scold? th answers that i get from you recently is very disappointing. who'd understand?

stars ..

2007-11-14T00:35:00.000+08:00

A jio-ed me out to watch th stars. seriously, i think by going i'd be dui bu qi-ing B.

just now went out with A then at kopitiam he even ordered food for me. very zidong. but i still know i cnt accept his love lah.

B made me cry. i hate being accused.

then at 289 i keep on very worried about B cause he whole day never contact me. then his reason quite ridiculous. then A ask me don't worry. and if B zao sai me, he will be there for me.

bang bang my head lah !

2007-11-13T02:53:00.000+08:00

A& me msging now . A said that he wanna cook for me. then he really want to go my house give me he cooked de spag. although he stay very near from me but firstly, i'm dressed ugly & i never wear bra luh. it's not that i care about my bra, it's about my outfit now & i'm lazy to change. then i told him that it's late & dangerous. then he say he not scared. maybe they were right about him - he very good.

A say he will wait. i can't do anything if he wants. i tiongxim my B but i scared i will drift or what. not that i flirt leh. but is ... nvm. difficult to say anw. maybe what A said to me, he already said to other girls. i duno & dunwan to know. i just enjoy being loved. no complaints. ^^

i've been with B for quite sometime alr. so asking us to break because of A is like quite impossible. plus i dunwan bastard B luh. although sometimes i really buay tahan his stupid things. like keep on pangseh me although sometimes with valid reason. but he really too insensitive sometimes. no matter what, i just love him th way he is.

A is :
tiongxim stead but hongster/nice to stead/got money(!)/know more about girls/nice looking/cute
B is:
insensitive at times/die die want face/cute/more like a small inexperienced boy.

BO WEI GONG LAH ! KNS. JI KONG DAI JI ALSO SIBEI COMPLICATED. LONG TIME NOT SO IRRITATED LIAO! KNNB ! SIBEI ZECK ARK LEH, LAO TIAN !

OMFG -!

2007-11-08T01:13:00.000+08:00

i just nice went to this page i thought was not touched for quite sometime. but i was wrongggg. bloody wrong. you've changed uh? i'm clever, you're not much lousier anw. so i was wrong to trust you. SHIT MYSELF.

WOOOO ~

2007-11-07T12:48:00.000+08:00

just now talked on th phone with jiejie. she good life. i rotting @ home till siao. then msn chat with bennedict for awhile. then he keep on afk cause playing dota.

ahgirl go chalet until tml then come back. actually today supposed to go sentosa with baobei to meet ahgirl. then ahgirl dunwan go sentosa. TAOYAN ! >.< one day till ahgirl return, two days till baby come back. just now msg-ed ahgirl ask her pei me go pierce naval. then she say " i got say you can pierce meh?!" she machamp baby liddat neh. accidentally deleted baby de msg then i cry like siao. now he not back i machamp IMH patient. dunwan take dou nai liao. dunwan do alot of things. changed hairstyle also. even blog also duno what to say. anw this blog seemed abandoned. i later keh siao go put a tagboard, & web counter see who will even visit this blog and tag. i wanna blah all my unhapiness out lah. it's like only a week then i'm like exaggerating like as if he's gone for a year. then people say i emo. omfg. -.- my hair colour like dropping leh. from red become orange then gold. then my green from green to dark green then now machamp black. i'm really bored till $#!#&^@ lah.

king & good souls. kindly talk to me in msn/friendster.

i only want you to treat me better

2007-11-02T22:08:00.000+08:00

it's out fourth month !

little bit tio ps cause he & his handphone daiji. but i really irritated lah. sometimes, i really don't know what to say then good lah. he happy can le. but nowadays i really find myself like very demanding. maybe i should learn to open one eye, close one eye? so when i'm angry i just diam diam luh.

then just now go ah yi house see ernest. god. he so cute lah. he can talk alot and walk properly liao. not like few months ago walk buay steady de. now talk sibei cute leh. he call me 'jiejie'. haha. liddat more young ma. and he look like winnie the pooh. haha. not like lamjunyuan, whinne the poo.

just now really very dulan lah. reach home then keep on calling but cnt get through his phone.

fourth month never plan properly want to go where then like very wasted today. bo wei gong. =X

2007-11-02T00:43:00.001+08:00

the chapters of my life

FIRST CHAPTER.
hey, i know you

oh hello love. the greatest thing that ever happened to me was knowing you. i love you till i could lay my innocent for you. what did i get in the end?

SECOND CHAPTER.
goodbye ?

i don't even know you left. you didn't even bade goodbye to me. are we gone? oh no. i really don't want to know th answer but i hate to see this unfinished. despite th fact that we had been so close, we sounded awkward. what do you mean my love ?

THIRD CHAPTER.
i'll be waiting till th day i get over you

so that's th end of us. i'll wait ...

FOUTH CHAPTER.
who are you calling a drama whore?

bite your tongue. a whore is one who calls others whore.

FIFTH CHAPTER.
beautiful scars

th scars you left were so painful but yet beautiful eough to remind me not to make th same mistakes ever again.

SIXTH CHAPTER.
the red dress

hey ben, i bet you didn't know that i was able to fly. yeah right, did the nurse gave you drugs? for real, i said. then i jumped off the ledge.ben looked surprised. your dress looks like a parachute, he says. he always says things like this. so at least there were two people wearing the red dress.

SEVENTH CHAPTER.
ashiteru

<3

2007-11-02T00:42:00.000+08:00

hey ! i'm backkkkk ! since i've been posting so much, i've decided to make use of my spaces here. haha ! cause i'm bored you see. that pig say call me back but never. heck lah !

2007-10-15T20:20:00.000+08:00

haha !
i've open this blog liao. because it was previously a testing site for my new skins. and now it means i'll be posting in both blogs. and it means i'll be playing hide &seek with you.

anw, better see mroe of me first. in case you can't get to see me. i mean it in a rather sacarstic way. yeah. nvm. you'll not understand anw.

so if you wanna tag, go to www.littlemiss-giggles.blogspot.com !

i'm so ~~not~~ missing you my boy. i'll promise we'll walk till our very last breath. take my hands nd don't let go. don't let go cause i'll fall down.

2007-09-25T17:14:00.000+08:00

my soulmate. she's my love. <>

dearest doll ;D

2007-09-25T15:14:00.000+08:00

officially bade friendster.com goodbye so don't need to visit my profile anymore.

had red eyes today, not exactly sore, but just reddish. now, it's only piercing pain in my right eyeball. nd didn't wear my contacts cause didn't want to contaminate it. so took my spects out but didn't wear till lesson time cause ie rather be blur than look ugly okay. jayda said ie look innocent nd cute with spects. haha, actually, is ie already very cute. TRUE HOR ! lol.

skl sucks terribly okay. nd ytd kena locked in my mrs low, ie guess they were right about her depression. nd had my singing test nd she was prasing me all th way till today. huien says she's hinting us to join some competition so that when we get famous, she can claim some credit. lol.

took th same bus route as yifan home today. she's quite a nice person to talk to. ;D talked abit with her nd she brightened up my day a little.

now waiting for elycia to bathe finish, huien to reach home, jayda to finish whatever she doing nd come online nd baby to reach home then can play audi with them.

tonight got sakae sushi ! ~

2007-09-23T13:36:00.000+08:00

this is an autistic boy. haha, joking. yeow, don't kill me forh doing this.

boy, ie mean it when ie say this.

make this my bg, nice?

nd ie love my dearest superboy. he is really th reason forh my survival. ie would have died last night if it wasn't forh him. ie love him all the way nd ie never want to leave ue. ue r much more than my estacy. ie am not addicted to ue but ie am commited to ue. nd ue better noe it cause many people very 羡慕 okay.

more pictires, less words

2007-09-22T18:39:00.000+08:00

introducing my new style, more pictures, less words. sorry people, ie am not photogenic nd hence ie have quite less photos of myself. ue can visit my friendster forh more of my pictures.

ie shall intro, this is fuhua's cutest teacher.

nd this is weiliang nd ie fooling arnd

lastly, a more normal picture, huien nd ie
on pre-national day. ;DD

edited by yours truly

here's one using fotobatch

here's my SUPERBOY.
nd that's th reason why ie hate fotobatch you see ...

blogger takes a long time to load pictures ...

2007-09-22T13:08:00.000+08:00

ytd go collect baby de present at JP. saw weiliang nd jordan they all at th arcade. miss xianyun loads la ! ytd also went to meet her with elycia nd kristie. then baby came to JP nd meet me. then go third floor baby nd his friends dunno do what then saw fuhua people, ie dunno their names, nd talk with them.

then saw wenru on the bus ! super omg sia ! one year plus plus never see him alr lurhs. then suddenly see him little bit stunned. he doesn't seem to reconigse me or he dunwan to see me nd reconigse me then he just pretend he never see me.

then go csc forh a while nd got three bitch sibei noisy. then weiliang ask me go disiao them then ie just walk around them then got one stare at me then ie stare back. knn. she just turn away. lols.

aft that want to go home change then go keming. on my way back saw wenru again ! lols. never see then one year plus plus never see, see then see two times.

aft that ah girl go to my house nd eat nd ie go bathe then jx they all come my house. they want to see us put make up lurhs. then we just close door. then go keming play play nd find teachers nd saw my favourite teacher, MR EDWIN LOW. haha. same name as baby. then go 290 there play candles. then ie keep on burn my hand. eleven plus go home nd jx they all send me home. didi like so tired, sweat nd sweat.

nd baby now gng bugis nd ie want to go with him lurhs ! wtf, she confirm won't let me go out. nd later got tkd nd cannot stay out late. sian la !

BABY I MISS YOU !

2007-09-20T20:45:00.000+08:00

maths nd science test. wth. th subjects ie hate most. but science mian qiang can pass, maths is confirm cannot. don't get zero ie happy liao.

tml serving detention cause of that stupid 157, ie hope ue know that ie sacrifice alot for uer fucking SBS company.

gng jp collect my present for baby aft stupid detention. nd then baby say want to bring whole world see that ie buy present forh him. ;DD

nd tml first period is that bloody woman's. wtf.
see ue in hell.

FUCK OFF

2007-09-19T21:47:00.001+08:00

knn, chao jia again. thought today is nice day but in the end is KNS ! everytime listen wrong info. ie sibei heartpain la.

FUCK OFF LA !

tml sleep, sleep till ie wake up from nightmare. not happy then ie go back sleep. sleep till ie happy.

YAY :D

2007-09-19T19:26:00.000+08:00

getting my mascara on friday.

went to JP tday. haha. jayda♥ bought magnetic ear rings nd ie went to buy present forh baby♥♥♥♥. nd thanks to jialin. ate ice-cream nd elycia went lucky, she didn't miss her bus.

oral was okay. was a little stuck but overall fine. finished that bitch's assignments just to shut her up.

baby arh, ue damn sweet can? ue'r not my estacy. ie not addicted to ue cause ie love ue too deep alr !

CURRNT MIA

2007-09-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

will be currently mia-ing cause of EOYs. nd will miss blogging loads loads.

later in th afternoon, chinese oral nd so have to do that siao woman's filing. nd mummy took away my phone for no reson nd ie very dulan lurhs. nd ie miss my baby loads ! cannot contact him all th way lurhs.

to baby, if ue ever read this:
ie miss ue nd tml, thursday aft skl meet arls? at bus stop. ie know ue 2pm then dismiss but ie 1.30pm dismiss liao. so ie wait at th bus stop for ue.

away from blogging till two weeks later. till then ~

EDWIN !

2007-09-16T15:01:00.000+08:00

ie sing song for my daddy. LMAO. ie know ie very cute.

maybe can change, ie go be singer. haha. don't know why when have flu then sing song nicer. or maybe my vocals improved. ;DD

baby say ie angry cute, but he angry more cute. that type of pattern want to smile dunwan smile very cute. jialat. ie love him a lot lot liao.
我们的开始是我们的未来 <33333

taekwondo

2007-09-15T22:47:00.000+08:00

actually, ie had no intentions of gng. but for money's sake, ie went.

thought sir would do training, but he wasn't there. hai me bring all my full gears. last week still scolded me forh not bringing. wtf. learnt pattern today, got a lot of work to catch up on. this week started with yellow belt & green-tip's patterns. continued on brown belt's pattern nnd we're halfway through. so as yours truly has STM, ie shall compile all th moves tgt in notes. so don't be surprised to see me holding a stack of tkd notes instead of science, geog, oh whatever.

aft that saw vincent they all in macs. he wearing same shirt as me. LMAO ! stayed for coke nnd then went home.

-

2007-09-15T17:27:00.001+08:00

when ie always don't know what to say, ie use '-' as a replacement.

seriously, there's no inspirations to say anything.

watched I Not Stupid Too last night, so slept a little late. thought that jerry was a little gong, like clement. haha. similar frog face idiots. seeing how he asked about where babies come from, ie seriously think we should be mroe educated in this area.

and ie hate parents that always nag nag nag. everytime say we noisy, look who's th one who will even talk when they're in their graves. STFU !

2007-09-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

i wished a million things and th one i prayed to be answered most is

my answer to you is, i'm tired, i'm tired of everything, especially my life.

your superrr girl

2007-09-14T21:18:00.000+08:00

yay ;D
thanks th people forh visiting me & cheering me up & etc & etc & etc. i'm so super inactive in co now that they might just take some dumb diciplinary actions towards me. i don't give a damn. ;P

zhixian pangseh lucinda today cause this super lazy pig never come to skl. rushed home straight aft skl, aft talking to xianyun & aft seeing my babyyy.

erjie came my house. she & aloy cook. their cooking so damn terrible la. first time see people fry hot dogs & aloy's egg put too much oil. & so, they forced it down my throat.

went out later to meet my babyyy. causal & easy wear. tube top & skinny jeans. watch th rat movie and got new nose studs.

i think i grew up a lot. when you see me again, you'd have no chance to call me a small kid again. maybe, we're really not meant for each other. you had your reasons for calling me a small girl, hence, i think you should go find someone suitable for you. i'm gladly so over you. i finally believed that we're different, so totally different.

my day don't seem much of any niceness today. i admit, i was quite moody, neglecting most parts of my life. but i have my reasons for doing so. when will you ever understand. i'd wish you can understand me.

do you know th feeling of loving someone, hence you tried to do smth but that person seems so unappreciative. i'm okay, i'm not.

i want to dance through th night. i want to go clubbing. i want to swallow three hundred pills. i want to drown myself with alcohol. i want to go to th zoo. i want to watch a movie marathon. i want to eat jap food. i want to drink green tea. i want to run a show. i want to star in a movie. i want to do nice make ups. i want to parade arnd in my nicest clothes. i want to sing till dawn. will you accompany me to do all these?

;DDD

2007-09-13T20:41:00.001+08:00

THIS IS MY 150TH POST !

today skl was okay. th usual things. didn't got caught for anything, wasn't on any pills. went for recess with zhixian, lucinda and huien :DDDD loveeee them. yes zhixian, i saw your blog before i posted this. haha !

get to taste that cheesy bread, i know cheese is high in fats but it's very veryyyyy temptating ! and so called ah girl come down to westmall and met spongebob.i saw superrrr ZHIYANG !!! he was in his NanYang JC uniform, looking as fat as usual, which huien claims that he's chubby & cute. ROFL !

pei my baby whole time aftnoon and nothing much.

♥♥♥ I LOVE MY TIME WITH HIM !

I'M NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMAN

2007-09-12T20:33:00.000+08:00

why do i only seem like a small child in everyone's eyes. and whatever i do, you don't appreciate, passing me off as a small child. i am small, but i have a big mind. i might not do things up to YOUR expectations, but that doesn't mean that i can't do it well. since you said that i AM young, i need time to perfect any task. i am young, but if you shut your mouths up, nobody would know i'm only a fucking thirteen. i'm waiting till th day you can treat me as a PROPER woman.

2007-09-11T21:02:00.000+08:00

i feel sick. don't feel like gng t skl tml.

forcing myself t type. updating about tday.

went t orchard forum mall aft skl. huien's mum drove us there. met karen, my agent. she was explaning th details t my mum. needed t attend a course for 5 weeks about cat-walking, acting & make-up. for cat walk, i need to get my own 3 inches high heels. for my make up, my artist will decide which make up material i'll need. told to get only Shade Beaverly Hills or Mac's. they cost a bomb ! so my artist will decide my make up set ranging from $350-$550. aft th course, i will become a freelance model.

walked to isetan and saw th mac's make up set and th brush is already enough for me to play thirty rounds of pool. $60++ !!! before gng t isetan, ate at japanese restruant. then walked to far east plaza for shopping. tried to look for 3 inches high heels and they were like so chicken feet to me. i saw a 5 inches one and i thought it was 3 inches.

my mum was afraid that i might not get many offers because i'm still young, while many people don't believe that i'm only thirteen. and she might not have th time to go with me for every of my shows because i'm still a fucking underage. and so she asked me to reconsider.

I LOVE LIM HUIEN !

tell me what to do ...

learned to love, deeply

2007-09-08T22:38:00.000+08:00

he's gng back t malaysia. i'm gonna miss him damn loads. i will cry in my pillow tonight. allowing myself to cry to sleep, again. i wished he never went. i wished he'd stay. i wished we could be together forever. till death do us part, boy.

i love you way past any words can describe.

be back fast to hug me close.

th feeling without you is dryly terrible.

♥♥♥

th road of sucess is paved with faliures

2007-09-08T19:09:00.000+08:00

supposed t go down for meeting. went late. postponed t tuesday aft skl. anw, was on th way t orchard, so just went t cineleisure watch movie. wanted t watch that rat show. guys wanted t watch dead silence. in th end watched 1408. sucky show. nobody understood. i tried t comprehend. a little complicated.

ratings for 1408 : 2/5(i wouldn't even want t rate if not for th camera skills)
nothing scary. i admire th director of this flim. th camera skills are worth prasing cause this movie really sucks. about this particular boring-boring man in this boring-boring movie making boring-boring books about 10 haunted places like mansions, graveyards & hotels, etc. and oh please, all these already have their part of scariness, no need for futher elaboration. this man, called mike didn't believe in ghosts. so he decided t stay in this hotel called (kuku)dolphin hotel, room 1408 which is said t be haunted by an evil thing. not ghost, not spirit. 'something evil' says th hotel manager. 56 natural deaths. 4 unnatural deaths. all due t loss of mind.

all i know, this show burned a hole in my pocket. & i hope i'm on my way to fame.

♥

2007-09-08T09:49:00.001+08:00

I LOVE EDWINNNNNNNNN !!!!!!!

LOSS OF WORDS

2007-09-06T10:18:00.000+08:00

i don't know what i ate lately that caused me this loss-of-word thing. i have nothing to say.

oh wait. mummy's gonna sponser me t watch movie later. who wants t go ?

2007-09-05T15:57:00.000+08:00

i exceptionally hate liars. but you proved my worest nightmare right. i wished i could be eaten up by a monster.

-

2007-09-04T21:13:00.000+08:00

went on another shopping spree tday t bugis. helped simin buy her shirt & necklace. bought another tapered pants because th previous one was torned and a tube top & a bag. while at bugis, i was eating my hotdog bun and some lady just walked back and talked to me. she was speaking quite softly and i can't quite decipher what she was talking about. i only heard something like 'mediacorp', 'photoshoot' and things like that. you should know better what i did. =D

heared that my dearest had ran away from home. i was concerned, yet i was thought as i wasn't. i don't know how to show my feelings.

sent my pants for alteration at market area and met vincent. don't know why we decided t go t his house. tracked his house down and went in by force. he was abit scared and then fine. messed up his couch and kajiao his hamster. don't know why my girl so scared of animals. i grabbed his hamster while he went into his kitchen and introduced myself t th hamster. :DD lame kids do lame stuff. and then his hamster very guai, never struggle. but he th owner of th hamster very bad, he tried t kill me. :/ he blew his condom caused i asked him to. he looked like a fool.
that finger belongs to girl's.

outside vince's house :DDD

aft girl went home, weiliang came down t market place and slack. so saw edwin2 and weng hong they all. then edwin2 say i very familiar and then my face became like this -> -.- because he was samuel's friend who took my number. then yonglin said he thought i was chiannlih. then made a whole load of stupid yellow jokes and then they followed me home. stupid threats about raping. haha. and then i was in this same lift as my ahneh neighbour and they go disiao, make th lift open close open close till he dulan. then yonglin push vincent come knock me. not only ahneh pissed, i also pissed.

i don't know what else t say. i don't know how t end, because i don't know if tday should end happily or sadly.

DON'T WANT TO LIVE A SINGLE SECOND MORE

2007-09-04T11:09:00.000+08:00

last night, i suddenly just felt like bring back th reminiscenes.brushed off th superstitions about th no-way t play any chinese instruments after six. removing my instrument, that familiar musky smell greeted me, it seemed t linger for a very long time. it's been so long.

since i've been so outdated with th current co, th only score which i could clearly remember was my SYF set piece. i don't know why that song carried so many sentimental values. i refused t go back t any co becuase i was scare, scared t face th truth. it's been sometime already, i've got t let it go away. i felt so used.

i think i've failed badly living as someone. i hide th truth just because i don't want t get hurt & hurt others but i found myself churning more & more lies t cover those lies. i hate t die from bleeding & i find myself somewhat selfish.

i think, i'm really th one with a whole load of 不能说的秘密.

I"M JEALOUS

2007-09-03T19:54:00.000+08:00

i feel so jealous of many little little things.
i don't know why.
why?

2007-09-03T14:52:00.000+08:00

i want t be your princess,
i want t be your star,
i want t be your angel,
i want t be anything else but me.

2007-09-02T13:03:00.000+08:00

i know i have a stinking attitude problem sometimes, so i'm learning t be nice. i'm learning t smile. i'm learning t live. i'm learning t be happy. i'm learning t stand.

but i still need you t pamper me because i'm still a child in heart.

2007-09-02T12:24:00.000+08:00

woke up with a terrible body ache & dizzyness. i hyperventilated yesterday. and i couldn't breathe properly, up till now.

happy second month ! ♥

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVEEEEEE YOU !!!

2007-09-01T22:24:00.000+08:00

i wasn't ready, i admit. mentally & physically. today's result was really shocking. GOLD

i mean, will you believe it?? it's my first tme sparring and it's with a poom belt. she's firstly so stinky and so xia lan. she kicked kristie in th groin area and *TWICE* summore. i buay tahan lurhs. i kicked her groin area till can hear that smacking sound. i bet she's groaning in pain, but i won't give a damn. i know i have a bad staminar and not much strenght, all i can do is hug her, which i really truly regretted doing so cause i stink like her aft that, and go near her so that she won't be able t kick me.

i cried in th middle of th match because i don't have much energy and i couldn't get hold of myself. i felt like shouting 'you stink, fat ass' at her but i knew that would spur her t attack me more. i heard brandon's voice, kristie's and yucheng's. and i immediately got hold of myself. i looked at th scoreboard and was much more determined t attack her. i imagined her t be th girl that i hated most(i'm not revealing her name), and i wanted t murder her.

i was dead tired. crying because i won. haha :D

i shall feature my dearest VERNIS today. she so cute enough t send me a msg t jia you for me !

actually thought adeline & edmund was quite 刀 and then i was quite anit t them. but tday they were exceptionally nice. haha. went t CSC for pool and actually wanted t go KTV but th rooms were fully booked. then went t westmall with adeline, kristie, xiao fan & ♥ t shop for present for yucheng's big day.

my leg hurts ! & i want ice cream. haha :DDDDD

2007-08-31T23:14:00.000+08:00

i'm so not feeling good and i feel like ranting on and on about it. but who cares?

anw, this is my blog, i shall do whatever that makes my happy with it. i can jump, yell, shout, scream my lungs out, smash th computer, write vulgarities, spam my own tagboard, make silly faces, post stupid posts, post stupid pictures, fill a post with words and then delete it again.

i want to understand you. i want to know you more. i want to be with you my entire life. i want to have unlimited wishes.

i wished i could be fat, then thin, then ugly, then pretty.
i wished i could disappear, then appear and then disappear.
i wished i could smile, then cry, then laugh, then frown.
i wished i could sing & dance and then fall asleep.
i wished i could make my sweet escape now.
i wished i could win tml's tournament.
i wished i could slap someone in th ass, in the face, in the stomach.
i wished i could understand you.

i know ... i am being like this because of what you did. i can't seem to pull myself away from th agony. tell me why. why must you make me land in such a deep deep (duno what, forgot that word, i'm tired).

GOODNIGHT.

i don't know what to say

2007-08-31T23:05:00.000+08:00

it's over, th day.

ah looi spoiled our hardwork. damnyou. i can't blame you much though. huien was right about you being naturally stupid. i should've listened t her. teachers' day was nothing t me. i won't care a heck about it. it's just a day t me. seriously, today isn't as good as i though it would be. ah looi came t skl early and was playing duel masters in th class. i could've killed him for doing so.

aft skl was much better. went t plaza sing with my ♥ and his banana.just went there t eat though but i'm contented with just th way i am with him. i enjoyed th journey of th whole thing. went t boonlay aft that and stayed there till seven plus then went back.

so this is how my ~~wonderful~~ day ended. i don't think it'd be any better tml. i somehow lost my confidence. i don't look forward t anyting in life anymore. i feel so dead.

yixiang is living. :D he cared, i know. reprimands and acting like though a brother t me. that's what i'm always lack of. maybe, i'm still not ready t ruin my life yet. not aft what i heard him say. i will be good & nice. hopefully. lived a dead day tday. hope i can be revived tml.

few more hours t tournament (lazy t count)

two days t second month.

2007-08-30T20:51:00.000+08:00

i'm soooooo looking forward t tml !!!!

firstly, jayda & i are in-charge of tml's games and we'll be planning for th best and so you all better get ready. th only thing in skl i'm not looking forward t is mdm rafidah.

secondly, i'm gng out ! yay !

okay. i'm lame and i know.

2 more days t tournament

3 more days t second month ♥

2007-08-29T20:45:00.000+08:00

yayness t th 'extreme' tday ! DDDDD:

went t bugis aft skl tday and bought shorts & ear rings although was supposed t go t SGH for my appointment. because i was late while waiting for th bus, actually, not really th bus' fault. it's because i miss someone too much, you see. and so went t jurong east then msged mummy and told her i was late, so she asked me not t go. anw, it's like so wasting my time and not doing anything and I HAD T MISS SPORTS CARNIVAL !!!

tday was quite boring. no intentions t skip any classes because i was damn tired, so laid in class lazily. slept for some lessons and fooled around in IT lessons. don't know why, mrs low seems t be in a wonderful mood tday. maybe it's because someone said she ws pretty. LMAO ! somewhat untrue ... and she just kept on smiling at me throughout th lessons and never caught me for anything. they were right about her depression. huien skiped skl. no need t ask - cannot wake up.

bugis was fun :D exchanged uniforms with vernis and made her skl lose face :D and this uber fat guy was like trying t get us t buy th bag. haha. went arnd walking and walking without feeling tired and i noticed that boys taking another look at us never get out numbers. i don't know why. maybe i'm too overwhelming. haha. JOKING !

went back t westmall and saw jessica there. so we jio each other go put tattoos :D and so left westmall aft that.

3 more days t tournament 01/09/07

4 more days t second month 02/09/07

♥♥♥

2007-08-28T18:36:00.001+08:00

to those who are truly confused:

♥ IRREPLACEABLE HUSBAND - EDWIN
♥ DARLS - VERNIS, CHIANNLIH, WEILIANG & JIEXIANG
♥ 亲爱的 - LEOWSIMIN
♥ 亲爱的 STEAD - ROUYI
♥ DARDAR - ^^
♥ STEADY - ZHIXIAN
♥ DARLING - XIANYUN
♥ STEAD - HUIEN
♥ LING - ELYCIA
♥ HONEY - JAYDA
♥ BAOBEI - DAOYI

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

for huien :DD & my day

2007-08-27T19:06:00.000+08:00

this post is superbly dedicated to LIM HUI EN.
for gng t JEC t see class tee and treating me t lots lots of food. :DDDDDDD

nothing much happened in skl tday. just th normal things with some spice. discussed about it with huien and hopefully th storm will be over real soon.

ytd went t botanic gardens with fuhua c.o and i thought i was abit rusty because i wasn't with them since aft th SYF and so felt abit awkward.saw th SCO played and it was my first time ever seeing some orchestra which is better than any one i joined play because it's either me playing on stage or none. and it's been some time i played and not t mention with my members or on th stage. i really really missed hong kah times. it was th only thing which kept me gng, like a life machine.

2007-08-26T10:31:00.001+08:00

sometimes you seem t know so much. i wished i could know you more. you seem t be th next person next t that could probably ever understand me. how did you ever know so much?

2007-08-25T18:36:00.001+08:00

EDWIN LOW ! I MISS YOU !
how could you make me miss you so damn muchhhhhh? YYY

2007-08-25T14:58:00.000+08:00

lost of words ....

i miss him alot, alot, alot. at times, i just can't understand you.

2007-08-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

okay. now i shall update about my proud proud common test results !
YENGLISH - 31/35
YHCL - 55.5/100
YMATHS - 21/50
YSCIENCE - 22/50
YGEOG - 27/50
YLIT - 15/30

went t bugis for shopping tday and was damn damn happy. firstly cause got big shou huo from SHOPPING ! and secondly my darling got pei me go. :DDDDDDDDDD

celebrated for xianyun's farewell and i don't know why i just miss her so much that i suddenly cried. so they cut th cake but cause i didn't pay for it so i didn't have my share. played aaron's PSP and then tried t help him complete that stage then went home t bathe.

i'm so damn hungry now.

2007-08-24T12:51:00.000+08:00

don't know why but th teachers seem t be so associated with th computers nowadays. lols. so it's ME lessons now and i'm here blogging.

you can't blame me for not posting last night because SHE off my computer while i was afk-ing. and then did th same routine. blahblahblah. and firstly, i didn't get t do my hmw and lied t mdm tay that my com crashed (which will never be a fact because i'll smash it before it can ever crash.) and then while i was posting halfway, she off it and, yeah, th usual. and she FORBADE me t go out tday. but do you think i'd give a stinking damn ?

so later gng t buy my shades from th money earned tday by selling sweets at a profitable value~ and gng bugis later on. because she said that i have t go with her, i'll let her tag, but i won't by nice.

i think i'm starting t hate c.o. i think i want t quit. seriously. i don't think i have much passion left t continue. simple reason is because everyone's dying there. and i seriously won't like t be sitting on th same spot for hours and hours. i don't know why i ever liked it. if you're gng t give bad comments on this, i suggest you'd better keep your gap shut because all you will kena is a fatal bite.

i hate my life, seriously.

2007-08-23T12:24:00.000+08:00

this is one of the best skl days.
credits : SIMINY

MY 52 CONFESSIONS.
1. The phone rings, who do you want it to be?
you-know-who
2. When shopping at the grocery store,do you return the cart?
yes, I wouldn't need one to be around.
3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed again, would you?
of course !
4. Do you take compliments well?
most likely, who doesnt? especially when you so much want to be a model.
5. Do you play Sudoku?
no. they're a strain on my poor poor brain.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness what will you wish for?
please give me an unlimited supply of wishes. (hey, I think long term)
7. If your house were on fire,what would be the first thing you would save?
myself, especially my legs.
8.Who was the last person you slept in the bed with?
my imaginary friend
9. Are you taken?
how can I not be when I'm so loved by that boy?
10. Favorite child book?sleeping beauty.
Firstly I get beauty sleep, next I get a handsome boy and what's more, he's rich.
11. Eye colour?
black. During the hols, they may range from grey to purple.
12. How tall are you?
proudly a 1.65m.
13. If you could do it over again,start from scratch,would you?
what?
14. Any secret admirers?
how would I know since it's secret?
15. When was the last time you were at the toilet?
don't talk to me about toilets
16. Favorite ex..?
no, I won't say anything.
17. Where was the furthest place you traveled?
Australia. :D
18.Do you like mustard
?yeah, with hotdogs in the cinema!
19.Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
both. I'm a well-known pig.
20. Do you miss anyone?
every point of my life.
22. Can you do splits?
no. though I have beautiful legs.
BUT they aren't for splitting.
23. What movie do you want to see right now?
any movie is fine, so long as I get to see it with him.
24. What did you do for your date?
this is something personal. :D
25. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
think so.
26. Do you own a camera phone?
I'd be so outdated if I don't.
27. Was your mom a cheerleader?
omg !
28. What's the last letter of your middle name?
what's middle name?
29. Are you Hispanic?
what's Hispanic?
31. Do you like care bears?
I seriously prefer gummy bears.
32. What do you buy at the Movies?
popcorn, coke, nachos, sticky cookie & hot dogs. I'm a glutton :D
33. Do you know how to play poker?
yeah.
34. Do you wear your seatbelt?
basic common sense. I still want t live till I be a model.
35. What do you wear to sleep?
whatever that I was wearing an hour before bed.
36. Anything big ever happen in your life?
what can so big?
37. Is your hair straight or curly?
straight. Unlike someone's ...
38. Is your tongue pierced?
I wished it was.
39. Do you like Liver and Onions?
omg. No way.
40.Do you like funny or serious people better?
funny. I need t laugh.
41. Ever been to L.A.?
nope. Maybe when I become a model.
42. Who is on your mind right now?
ice-cream.
43. Any plans for tonight?
not sure.
44. What's your favourite song at the moment?
there's gotta be more in life by Stacie Orrico.
45. Do you hate chocolate?
no way !
46. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
it's been half a decade since they spoke to each other.
48. Do you need a boyfriend to be happy?
he makes me happy in every single day. So what do you think?
49. If you could have any job where would it be?
ANY DECENT MODELLING AGENCY
50. Are you easy to get along with?
of course. If you're good t me, I'll be good t you.
51. What is your favorite time of day?
sleep time
52. Are you generally a happy person?
I guess so. But not recently.

2007-08-23T11:12:00.000+08:00

yeow yong has a cute face. :DDDD
i captured his face with his hair tied by me !
those who want it can contact me. haha.

so came t th library cause mr lee has smth on and we were talking about this autistic child and i told him that yeow yong was one. haha ! and he seems proud of himself because he likes t crack 'bird' codes. and now he's sitting beside me and don't know why, he keeps on calling out t my name.

so yeah, later have three **** periods of maths. i promised mr loke that i shall minimise my vulgarities to ZERO and so i use my ambition t remind me.

i want t be a model !!! and i kept on repeating myself during class and recess and stuff. haha. and i want a D CUP !!! i shall go look for a modelling agency now or maybe be a freelance model. but first, i'm gonna do a nose job, lasic surgery and eyebrows trimming. maybe threadding. depends on my financial status. i wished i was damn damn rich or someone close t me had lots lots of money ! yay !!! i will me a model !

2007-08-22T17:25:00.000+08:00

just make those illusion of mine come true okay ? sometimes, i really wished that i lived in a world of only you & me. the outside world is tough. i so envy those babies, toddlers and kids. they can scream, shout and shit whenever they like without having t worry about anything. i also want t be like them. how carefree. if only i were free of those ...

2007-08-21T18:33:00.000+08:00

love me or hate me

chiannlih threw a stone and it hit vincent's head really hard and he cried. aft that he told me he was gng to laugh and pretend to faint, but he didn't in the end. went to csc before that and did th same thing, was bored. so after that decided to go to mac's to buy ice-cream. then on my way t mac's that siao gao duno why go pull my hair. so i pulled his hair and we were pulling each other's hair, walking out of csc. and he started pulling chiannlih & my hair until i knocked and my ear ring came out. i guess he was so damned afraid i might cry so he offered to give me a new ear stick and put for me. so warned him not to luan lai lurhs. actually not pain la. then used th same kind of ear stick as nose stud and he said i xia suay him. ask me don't go near him. lols. guess who i saw at mac's. i saw benedict lurhs. but cause i was busy attending to that pig so didn't go over to say hi.

i shall upload th rest of my pics after tkd. got to rush ! bye !

2007-08-21T00:51:00.000+08:00

i feel so tired putting on an act ever single day. i am so tired that i really wished i could get some rest. i don't know why is th skl so dumb t invent things like ' suspended form class ' and all these shit. might as well just suspend me from skl ? i still can rest at home. early in th morning ask me t go t skl and sit there for eight whole hours and cannot do anything. i even have to sneak out t recess. i can't hold on any longer. can you just claim my life ?

2007-08-20T21:26:00.000+08:00

i'm back from th hospital. i don't know what t say. i'm a complete loss for words. just gotta prepare myself for another damed war tml. shit fuhua.

2007-08-19T11:14:00.001+08:00

holy shit !

they're coming to take me away ! why can't they just mind their damed business ? this time, i shall fight back. Fiona is not someone to be trifiled with easily. i shall win this time.

2007-08-19T00:06:00.000+08:00

my mother has hands of a one-in-a-million touch. since young, i've always found that she has a touch like nobody else's and i really liked it.

my life was almost perfect when i was young. getting straight 'A's for eveything, being pampered like a princess, big room, big house, many maids.

now, i'm just the exact contrast of what i were. i do believe in retribution so i guess i'm getting mine now.

i look into th mirror. it's not my reflection i see, but a very ugly, disfigured self. i caould not bring myself t believe that was me. but in the end i accepted the fact. i was ugly. deep deep down inside. so ugly that you'll never want to know. i the ugliest creature you'd ever want to know.

sorry ... i just can't continue.i just feel so useless that i wish my life can just end here right now.

2007-08-16T21:18:00.000+08:00

ooooooooh !!!!
i'm so in love with my body ! haha ! i think i have more confidence in myself now ... haha !

daoyi told jayda tht she heard from mr go tht th skl is suspending me for defiency and i was like wth ... i also nvr do anything. i'm fine with it anw, i shall treat it as a break, from th terrible skl.

i seriously don't know whether to laugh and rejoice or what. i just feel so lost. tml have to wash th damn toilet lurhs. wtf. and i seriously don't know how to continue posting.

you-know-who, please do smth tml to make my day. i am counting on you. i love you ...

2007-08-15T20:12:00.000+08:00

yay :D

new tkd player on earth : jayda !

huien, i win ! porridge face. haha !

2007-08-15T17:01:00.000+08:00

my lit paper was terrible tday. i thought the rose mentioned was a plant, after that, i rmb it was a girl. then i said th invisible worm was bacterial. -_-'' i'm gonna fulnk my papers so well this time. i don't think i have any mood t study science tday, not to say maths. i seriously have no mood to study.

all thanks to th whatsoever thing, i have bad hormonal changes and my mood swings are terrible, not to mention periods. they are like so irregular and they just come before one month. making my pimples so much and i only get pimples when i get PMS. so shit. nice timing anw, all thanks to this, i'm gonna flunk like shit.

if i ever see you, i'd stick to you like super super glue ! :DDDDDD

i was almost late tday because i had a bad bruise on my left foot. it's not like i'm faking it, but it really hurts and the pain really penetrates through my whole leg. my mood was stinky last night. i felt so lousy. i don't know why he could tell i wasn in a foul mood. maybe i wasn't concentrating.

just leave me alone, everyone.

2007-08-13T19:54:00.000+08:00

i bloody hate my uncles. they always like to come t my house and pick up quarrels.

tml tkd training. train double hard.
for tml's planning :
rush go home aft skl and chng and bring tkd stuff and go mac to chiong science all th way.

my chinese scored badly. i thought i was lousy, kristie lost to me still. :D fifty-five and half, a C5. for the first time in my life had i had such a lousy grade for chinese. good luck to me. i really hope i'd pass this year.

had fun studying at library with simin today, and the fiona finally meets fiona. had edwin & banana coming down to the library too to see simin & i les. and so left th library soon aft simin left and went to KFC because mummy was there. damn ...

jia yous for the damed paper tml. you too, huien. don't fuck the paper alr?

2007-08-12T11:40:00.000+08:00

YAY :D

my mummy is out. though she ~~asked~~ warned me not to touch the com, do you think i'd give a damn? i tried to sing along to 'sweet escape', but i decided to shut my mouth instead.

i finally got my head gear yesterday. gng to the tournament on first september and actually, i was more happy than scared. mao mao alr told me the details long long time ago and i already had prepared myself mentally way long ago. but i am not sure about my physical stats. maybe the three minutes on the arena wll be something like a three hour training at ~~bukit batok~~ bukit merah. so yesterday the palyers gng for the tournament we hauled into this small small room of the big big room to train. no aircon, no fresh air until joseph opened the window. i think i liked the part when we were asked to kick like mad dogs. i know, i don't have much strength, but i really was successful at imagining the target as the person i hated most and i took the chance to shout at it. =) i know, i know, i am cute.

thanks to edwin & la bi xiao xin for waiting at the mac for me throughout my training.

TUESDAY TRAINING, SATURDAY TRAINING, TUESDAY TRAINING, SATURDAY TRAINING, TUESDAY TRAINING, TOURNAMENT !!!

i think, i'd better prepare myself mentally in case i drop to NA, and that's gng to be real soon if i continue failing my geog, science & maths. but they reall suck. my language is way much better than those three. i shall buck up for geog. science & maths can die. i'd be happy if i can even get a fail instead of ungraded. i can't believe i only scored ZERO in my maths test. i think, last time you'd tutor me and you did such a wonderful job at it ...

2007-08-11T17:30:00.001+08:00

double yay people, my music are done and you can hear them !

2007-08-11T17:12:00.000+08:00

mugging hard for mdm siti ! :DDDDDDDDDD

but i can't help but stop to see :

who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS !

YAY ! I Y SPONGEBOB FOR LIVE !

2007-08-11T00:25:00.000+08:00

sometimes, in the middle of the night, especially nowadays, i just feel so much like blogging. maybe, i am a nocturnal creature. so, i really wish i had a laptop to make things easier. sometimes, i just feel so childish. but yet it was you who made me grown way past my age. hence, you are such a wonder to me.

earlier today,my brother smashed my mp3 onto the floor. how my heart ached when i heard the crack. almost instantly, the orange back of my neeon2 detached itself from the black cover. why, i screamed, yelled my lungs out and cried till my tears were dry. i just so pity my mp3. firstly, my mother deleted some pictures that meant so much to me and ''promiscuous girl'' (did i spell it correctly? anw, heck) it's not like i like that song, it has sentimental values can. this thing already made me quite dulan her, but nevermind, i dismissed it off as she-does-not-know-how-to-use-my-mp3. next, she borrowed my mp3 and didn't take proper care by allowing my sticker protecting the black front to be mixed with biscuit crumbs. nevermind, i tolerated and dismissed it off as the-sticker-is-ugly-and-i-ought-to-change. the last thing i will ever stand is someone destorying my property. for no rhyme or reason, he flung it on the floor. i was dulaned till i can murder him. the thing i remembered, my mum was threatening to send me to IMH because i was frightening my brother. look who's talking. i locked myself up in the toilet to prevent any murder case. my eyes were so sore from the crying that i suddenly felt the floor inviting and just slept on it.

he's on a harshly strict ban on touching my things. this is a lesson warning to those who have been tying to annoy me and anger me, you will have no guarentee which decent hospital you'll land in without at least spending least three weeks in the ICU. i don't give a damn who are you i will just whack. mark my words.

2007-08-10T10:03:00.000+08:00

i don't know why, i woke up so early. oh well, things DO change after something happened. i slept real late last night. i just couldn't sleep and neither could i cry myself to sleep. those were useless tactics.

since the song can't load, please go to radioblogclub to hear this nice nice song. i am definitely not in the mood to reload again.

yesterday after going to chinatown, met vincent, weiliang & junyong go marina watch fireworks. then on our way there, the pig finally woke up and called us so we waitied for him at the bukit merah mrt as we counted upon the numbers of trains it would take for him to arrive. at first, we guessed it was five, then seven, then we wait till sian diao so went out of the station to eat something. vincent went all emotional because that was his old home. lols. so after eating, we made our way back to the station, and we heard the fireworks' sound. so our face all become sian sian lurhs. little bit dulan jiexiang la, cause that time he still at commonwealth only.

then just to cut the so long story short, my food and drinks both had insects in it. i thought i was so unlucky. who knows that vincent was later on attacked by a dumb leech. i still thought he was playing until i saw the big big thing on his collar. then i scream, then weiliang and me run far far from vincent, left jiexiang and junyong behind. only that dumb jiexiang dare to remove the leech. vincent himself also scared dao ...

met my mummy and her stead at the foodcourt at suntec and then went to the arcade. seeing mummy hold hands with her stead, i so envy them. then i said 'i also wan hold hand' then the guys all put their hands in their pockets. typical idiots.

my real mummy then keep on bomb my phone with her messages asking me to go home. actually vincent and me wan ton outside de lurhs. heng she sleeping by the time i got home, if not sure tio kena till sibei jialat one.

i think, i am living my differently already. i don't know what i wanted and i found myseld being weird lately. after all those, i was still reading my geog textbook late last night. don't force me to think back. the past is already the past. i will have to learn to let go.

2007-08-09T12:48:00.001+08:00

it's my one-hundred post.
but sad to say, it shall be short. i only wanted to say that i reall envy her lots lots. why she has someone who loves her so much and he knows how to express it and make the whole world jealous and not pointing finegrs at them? it just makes me very very jealous.

but, i know. not one relationship will be smooth. i know, i know. but why must it be so rocky? one's hearts is not with the others and the other does not know how to express.

2007-08-09T11:55:00.001+08:00

i am so happy :DDDDDDDDDD
finally found a blogskin that made me happy with.
my blog song is heard from vincent's phone last monday and i thought it sounded quite nice, so i decided to put in my blog, hope you'll like it. thanks to radioblogclub.com.

i think, i am in love with the powerpuff girls. i have been watching them since morning today. first on kidscentral, next on cartoon network.

can't go swimming with my darls and i am feeling very bad. promised them last night but because mummy gng for massage then had to stay at home and take care of my brother. ='(

i must get my fair dose of o2jam daily, i don't know why, or else my fingers will start itching.

shit, there's a problem with my jukebox again. and i can't find it anywhere !!! now, radioblog is dumb.

oh, anw, HAPPY NATIONAL DAY ! tml is hols ~

2007-08-07T18:23:00.000+08:00

i missed the times when you still treated me like a small little girl for i was always one in your eyes. pamper me like one and don't let me go. don't let this slip through and be broken into pieces.

taekwondo again tonight. train like siao cause i definitely will try to make it through this belt without 'retaining' . seven patterns, she warned.

okay, kristie's at my dorrstep. have to run.

to edwin: taekwondo's at bukit batok east cc, second level, third door from the right. don't say i never say where i am now and i don't have the guts to ever be angry with you.

2007-08-06T19:28:00.000+08:00

i didn't attend school today, not the normal lessons, but i went back at twelve cause mummy wanted to talk to mrs soh. so to collect my instrument too. so i went back to school in my mini skirt and erjie's jacket and that damned shoe, because can't enter the school in any other footwear and my supe obvious nose stud. the teachers very clever hor, make use of this time to soot me.

i thought i lost my nose stud this morning when i rubbed my eyes, damn, and it made me lose sleep. i was so worried it might get lost and yet i don't have much strength to wake up and find it. so i decided not to roll about and find it when i wake up later. stupid me, it was in my pocket all the while.

i helped kristie chose a book and i explained to her that it's not like what she say 'bian tai' but it's art. seriously, it is what ... iand i am definitely not sick okay, i know how to appreciate body art.

i hate the current blogskin. the codes always have problems. i am dying to get the photoshop !!!! if you someone can ever get one for me i'd give that person a kiss, and i mean it !

2007-08-05T16:47:00.000+08:00

b.s cat, a song in o2jam. don't you remember? it's a capella group sung song. you said you liked this song and we laughed over and over at it. well, just now i played the couple mode with my brother the b.s cat song and he said they sounded like as if they were yawning. but i suddenly remembered you said something about the biscuits and it was cute. my exact sentiments. :DDDDD

i am now going to swensens for dinner tonight. yay, i love my nose stud. special thanks to the person who bought it for me.

i still love you okay, do not assume my love for you had changed though it seemed like it had.

2007-08-05T14:29:00.000+08:00

i've just been to yuchun's blog. she has posted the pictures about the prom night and i'm really jealous of the sec fours being able to attend it. the hotel they booked is so gorgeous that it made my eyes pop. i saw the green luminous staircase leading to the ballroom where the prom is held and i'm so stunned. i can't wait till i am sixteen. :D

i saw their beautiful noses and i really am so jealous of them cause they look nicer with nose piercing. and i think i am dying for a nose job. and i am pissed with the USB thing cause it always gets lost in the small small area and i don't know why. most probably some monster hiding below my bed ate it up. oh well, i really hope it would get sick of it and throw it out and only then will i be able to upload my pictures into my everlagging computer.

thinking of my pissed self, i have figured out that i shall keep this blog of mine and anti-vulgarity one because it not nice o read about a girl's ugly side right? i shall use fish, instead, to replace those st!nky words.

maybe i shall stop fooling myself. i am just being cranky to hide things up. i am not okay can?

2007-08-05T13:23:00.000+08:00

i just so wished that i am mulan.
i want to be pretty like her
i want to be brave like her
i want to fight like her
i want to love my parents like how she loved them
i want to have a gorgeous heart like hers
i want to be cranky like her
i want to smile like her
i want to cry like her
i want to have someone like hers
i want to have a lizard-dragon
i want to be clever like her
i want to be everything about her

i just want to ask you these questions:

will you piggyback me?

will you give me surprises?

will you feed me?

will you stay by me?

will you cook for me?

will you make me smile?

will you not make me cry?

will you go shopping of me?

will you take care of me?

will you sing for me?

will you play me your nicest music?

will you watch movies with me?

will you shower your love on me?

will you laugh with me?

will you take care of me for life?

will you?

2007-08-03T21:25:00.000+08:00

jayda, thanks so much, you are such a true great friend. Y

2007-08-03T20:03:00.001+08:00

kristie reminded me, jacqueline's being too obsessed with her god. it is irritating you know. and it's obvious that she's just way too zilian & disgusting to be my friend.

2007-08-03T18:29:00.000+08:00

you know, i have to go and cook now, but i am really reallyyyyyyyyyy to lazy to do any cooking. and i hate those pop-ups in my computer, they always never fail to make me lag.

i just came back from westmall, or rather csc la. the si policemen. i use my entire life hating them. they were there scanning, i think, and so my friends informed me and i walked out of the arcade, leaving my half-played behind (anw, it's vincent's money) because, we actually weren't allowed to be in uniforms to enter an arcade, which is why i cannot understand. uniforms are also clothes right? then vernis, weiliang & i went downstairs to wait till the police are done with their filthy business before we go up again. actually, we were just testing our luck to see if they were gone. we just got plain lucky.

today lur, if my mummy no need go to the dumb interview, then no need rush go bring aloy home and cook dinner, like aunty liddat. friday is my day out lur, i can stay out as late as i want. but, i thought of a wonderful plan by exchanging it with her so that tml i can go out. actually iw as planning to go bugis with vernis, chiannlih to shop for clothes and with kristie to buy her bag. so since chiannlih & vernis cannot make it, i'll go with kristie.

you know, cooking is not easy, kristie said i failed. 'the rice is hard and it's tasteless and i'm forcing myself to eat ... no la' quoted from kristie now. ehy, cooking not easy okay. first time cook leh.

today i finished three and a half books of the comics, blaue rosen, the ~~porn~~ comic. currently in singapore, there's only three books published so soksan bought them and lent it to us. the cover of the comics are getting more and more obscene. it's about mizuki chan, a prince in an all girls' school and aikira, a princess in an all boys' school. then i don't know why everytime they will kiss de lur.

i was caught eating lollipops and reading comics in shurtini's class and she didn't confiscate my comics but asked me to wrap up my lollipop. just heck care her lur. then she gived me the pass and asked me to go back to class to get my practical book then met richoon's class people. took a ear stick and replaced it with the previous because govin confiscated my previous stick. then he saw my many many ear rings and holes then he wanted to confiscate me 'F' but i bluffed him that it was my family heirloom. LMAO ! but he really believed lur. then i also bluffed him that my latest ear piercing kena infection and must see doctor to take it out. anw, he promised me to give me my wallet back today cause i this guai kia served detention last tuesday. then today after school went to find him then he not around, bluff me. and that victorian woman also. she promised to return me my nose stud today and i even counted the days to today !!! she good. monday slowly shuan the zhang.

xianyun cried today cause of that stupud chopper called her dad and she's going to get canning from her parents today. that si chopper no sympathy one lur. then even made jayda & charell cry. damn dulan her. she care about herself only. her mood swing until damn jialat then put all the blame on us. think she what? big shot arh? i no longer think she's cute. then still confiscate so many things.

haish, i really duno what la. that si kristie, take my tkd pants go school duno for what then never bring home, tml wear what??!! okay, i know, wear her black belt uniform. haha ! fine, -_-'' she say no way. tml shopping spree with her and after expensive dinning with joseph & her. so i hope that i can cancel some things off my want list after my shopping list.

2007-08-02T19:29:00.001+08:00

yay! i got my nose stud through.
HAPPY ONE MONTH! :DDDDD

2007-08-02T18:24:00.000+08:00

aiyoh! can't get my stick through my nose! again ...

forgot to bring my pe attire today so have to act bai ka again. slacked at the basketball court while waiting for the bell to ring. on the way to basketball court, bella saw my nose piercing and asked me if it was pain and my ear and blah.

then chinese lessons were boring and i forged my mum's signature because i again forgotten to bring my paper back for her to sign. science was a little better, but i cried. i cried because they reminded me of my past, i cried because i missed. my memories were so sweet sweet sweet & bitter bitter bitter, so they asked me write a book so that i can earn my first million before twenty-one. i really would like to, but i don't have the time. i thought my story was dramatic, but they said it was sweet.

maths was shit, i scored ZERO for my test, because, i really didn't know how to do and i wasn't interested anymore unlike last time when you coached me, i had interest in everything.

i am now only interested in getting my nose stud in.

2007-08-01T17:51:00.000+08:00

my ear is, pain. just so you would have guessed, i just hanged up the phone, that's why. i really don't have much to say, those things just can't get out of my mind.

anw, today just sucks, only a little. victorian woman and mrs low asked my to take out my nose stud. thanks alot hur. but too bad for them because, because, because, i can finally get them through my nose with almost no problem!!!! yay. okay, lols.

seriously, i still don't know what to say. i think i wanna change my cca. i think, i've lost total interest in it. i was damn discouraged when i stopped hong kah. no motivation also. the people all lan lan. lao zhou go retort xianyun's money!!!! he asked her to buy this $900 yangqin! i should have known and seen it coming and warned her.

my contacts are dried, i'm lazy to change. i'm almost too lazy to do anything now though i was never pampered like last time.but still i lived.

two more days till friday.

2007-07-31T18:19:00.000+08:00

finally, i'd have the time to post. i've been so busy lately. yesterday pon c.o to go get a present for sithu and pierce my nose at the same time too. went to JP with huien & simin to pierce my nose while huien got her ear pierced for the second time. i couldn't remember the details clearly because my nose was in great great pain, and so, they told me that my head jerked and i almost cried. that's all. then went to IMM to buy box from Daiso and then went to Giant to get mint chocolates and then back to Westmall to get sweets.

met weiliang at coffee bean and drank double vanilla. asked him if someone pon cca and went to many places to buy presents for him, how he'd feel, then he say he'd be touched. so at least, my efforts are noe wasted. then went to get sweets then went to csc. met vincent there and ate some food, i ate his laksa ... haha. and he said i kio sai. okay, fine. then waited for chiannlih to arrive and played arcade for a while then go home. it was the first tome playing arcade games with uniform on. that's singapore. so after that, vincent & weiliang accompanied me home. i can't stand my mum talking about how handsome is vincent and stuff about him being 'naturally handsome'. oh well, it's not that he isn't, but all these going on, i may puke anytime. so weiliang said he want to da bian, but he don't dare to use my house de toilet. WHY WHY WHY??? my house toilet got snakes arh? or smellier?

so my very cute bro asked 'jeh, why your nose got something wan?' then i tio scared faster reply 'is sticker!!!' i very scared my mum notice then do something drastic to me.

then suay suay this morning, the stupid victorian woman spotted that dot on my nose. 'fiona, take out your nose stud.' fuck. i can murder her can. then friday then return me. TAY YEE TENG, if you ever read this, you ought to go fuck yourself for asking me to do all these. firstly, you told the class that the one who never come to school today is the one who failed. there's someone who failed too why never say her? fine, i take it as you're angry that i skipped school. second time, you told yeowyong that he's a good student and asked him not to be close to me.try saying this to the entire class then. you sucker. i damn dulan you.

next, i finally got my stud through the hole, cause it couldn't go through earlier in the morning all thanks to the si victorian woman. and she'd better return it to me or she'd become like mdm rafidah.

and that stupid detention, it was all so, so useless for me. i went because i thought my friend would be there. but heck, no. thanks alot for faking.

2007-07-29T13:39:00.000+08:00

i don't know what you want, really. it's really tough being around. i shall continue drawing on my hands, hoping that i can die soon because according to christine's theory, one cm of pen ink causes us eleven seconds of of life. if i ever die, do not even feel sorry for me.

2007-07-29T13:06:00.000+08:00

great. taekwondo yesterday really sucks. i don't know why, but most probably, i'm just too sensitive. at least, i got my belt. at least, i got what i wanted.

good luhs you. go malaysia never tell me.

things didn't go well outside & inside. i just want some peace, inside and outside. i hate people with mouth that kills. i hate them most. won't they ever learn to shut up? fuck their stupid mouths, i'm so pissed.

how complicated can you life every be? do you even know how it feels like being a replacement for everything? let me tell you if you haven't experienced it, it sucks. you know, there are many things out there that you shouldn't know. knowing too many things certainly won't help, it only makes things worse. i can't believe i am only thirteen.

2007-07-28T19:19:00.000+08:00

today went to make my first atm card and far-east with erjie & jie en to shop for da jie's birthday present. wa. her birthday falls on the same day as sithu. haha. but finding an ideal present for her was not easy ...

er jie told me that the little miss (whatever) shirt are very common and we both sweared that we will not be dead caught in it firstly because it's so damn expensive, sixty bucks just for that piece of cloth and secondly, it has became so popular that many people in the streets have started wearing them making them go ''hey! same shirt!''. i'd be damn embaressed if i ever had something similar with someone on the street luhs.

we shopped for hours and hours before jie en finished her class and went to join us at far east. when we met up, er jie and i already so tired from the shopping. after that went around commenting the dresses, earrings and necklaces from all the shops and finally chose a really nice pair of golden earrings for da jie after four exhausting hours. because it was getting late, they sent me back to the bus stop so that i can make it to my taekwondo class in time. number of people we spotted wearing little miss (whatsoever) shirt : EIGHT

now i'm back, rushing out on this post before i go for my taekwondo. and i saw that really nice black and blue cardigan that ireally wanted but too expensive, so i asked vernis if she wanted so that we could share the price because it only was discounted after two pieces. damn that GST increase.

i pierced my ears yesterday after school and it wasn't as pain as i thought. maybe cause i wasn't ready yet. seriously, i don't know why i went to pierce another one. now i have five on my left ear, the fifth on the top bone. so i'm aiming for more, i guess, since they're quite nice. damn that increase of GST again, the cost of piercing at Yellow is now five bucks. what the ....

okay! i'm rushing out now! can't wear headgear today! arhg!